Pie & Persistence, the house concert series in Seattle organized by an accomplished musician friend raised over $5,000 for The Voter Movement Project in a beautiful backyard a few weeks ago. Between songs Sheryl Wiser — musician, songbird, activist — who I have watched grow into her persistent heart for forty-seven years, mentioned a phrase that has haunted me.

“What are you going to do between the dash?”

So far:

Alexandra Dane, born September 27 — daughter, granddaughter, grade/college/graduate student, horseback rider, singer, teacher, volunteer, care giver, wife, mother, hospice volunteer, gardener, knitter, writer, cancer patient, traveler, grandmother-to-be — died…

What strikes me about this list is how much I did without thinking too hard about it. Younger energy that multitasked effortlessly, took care of three generations, ran organizations, slept eight hours a night. This list also makes me think about the things I SHOULD think harder about: my continuing health (I am having a hard time getting on the protein wagon) my writing goals, (meeting them) my friendships.

Because as I get older I see my friends less, a casualty of covid habits, writing more, doing less in more time. I have firm goals to walk the Cotswalds and the Wales Coast Path before 70 and need to plot this out. I have taken advice for this next page of my story seriously, see Swedish Death Cleaning — the closets are getting close to empty/cleaned out as I set the stage for being more nimble and leaving less for others to deal with (sorry, maybe not my workspace yet!). I ‘love out loud’ to my children and friends at every opportunity. I sit and stare and listen to the birds for a living affirmation every morning. I have found my places of peace.

Between that dash is just part of my lifetime and frankly, just the beginning of it. I am sorry if I have not called or seen you or driven over for a dinner. Call me on it. I am busy filling that space, making it as worthy and valuable and interesting as possible. Why not?

Make a list. Check it twice. Say “yes” to whatever comes your way.

Call me for an espresso. Remind me to add protein. I am still here, between, despite.