OOOOF.

I’d like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. (But, well, him).

There are a lot of ways to use our words and the current beings in self proclaimed power covered in minutia by the press are no role model; in fact, the escalating small-minded bigotry of our elected officials is in danger of leaching into all our language, behavior and attitude. How else can we interact this holiday season?

This is obvious and important advice as we approach the season ahead and gather with friends and family and strangers that may not follow your beliefs or eat meat or gluten or dairy or eyes. Think before you speak: I departed a medical appointment last week saying “Have a nice Thanksgiving” to a couple of doctors that probably don’t celebrate this American holiday and as the words fell out of my mouth I knew I labeled myself ignorant (among other things) in just a few words. I fretted the entire drive home, kind of sick to my stomach. What I adore about this country is our diversity and in the next few months so many will celebrate so many different beliefs in joy. As they should. As we built this country to allow.

If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all: closer to home, if you know Uncle Cliff voted the complete opposite chances are you and he shouldn’t sit together or talk politics. Put your plate down somewhere else. Go ahead, switch the place cards. We can also ban politics from the table, like cell phones, and maybe have an old-fashioned shout-out about dog breeds, or table manners, or sleep suits for babies. These topics can devolve into laughter. Make that your goal.

Be grateful: for so many reasons each holiday is precious to me. Being with anyone around a table of food prepared with love is a singular privilege whether you are eating take out or turkey or eggplant lasagna with one person or twenty-five.

That is what manners are, and despite the current climate we all need to remember them.

Happy Holiday Week however you spend it. Make the table laugh.

I am grateful for you.

Alexandra Dane