The Heartbeat of January, 2015


Yesterday I fell down the stairs. Now, this is not an auspicious beginning to the New Year of 2015. But to be honest, that is not what I was crying about, crumpled on the slick floor.

2015 began with another loss for our family, a New Year’s Eve death of a wonderful young man that has rocked my son, his former teammates, and a wide ripple of families that have shared St. Lawrence and lacrosse together. I want to put this in perspective but that is impossible. Instead, I want to put 2015 in perspective.

January 1st, 2015 turned out to not be a fresh start but a fresh hit on the head to remember what is important. A well-worn phrase but the only way we made it through January 1st, 2015. Family. Friends. Dogs. The sunrise over the evergreens. The sunset in the backyard. A warm, foamy espresso. A big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. A green- enough tender leaf of lettuce. A cardinal in the heated birdbath. A few flakes of snow to transform the evening dog walk.

When we lose a young person the world shape-shifts, the pyramid of what is important gets restacked. I have forgotten the laundry pile. I am on the couch with my kids all the time, anytime.  I am petting my dog in the middle of the night. I will go and grieve with friends and strangers for two days this week and give strength to the family with my presence and love.

I have no words of new wisdom. I just want to say I am thinking hard about the value of our broken, beating hearts. The bruises from my fall are the least of my worry. But I may throw away those slippery socks. And a few other things that really have no meaning in 2015.


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